To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
