my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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