it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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