just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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