is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize