May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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