if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
