Where did you get a picture of my penis
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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