i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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