I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
