mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
