i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
