She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Can Purell be used as lube?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
