her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize