Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
You smell like stripper and shame
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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