this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize