Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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