The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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