god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
