O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
