Umm I'm too high to move.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Blood and glitter go together right?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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