can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
