just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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