I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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