we have officially lost it.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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