There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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