Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
