I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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