end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
