dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize