i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
