I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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