I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
