Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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