Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
