someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize