i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
farters have to be the big spoon...
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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