So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
