It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
