So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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