I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
