Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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