I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize