Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
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We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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