Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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