why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
