but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize