i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize