I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
