birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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