I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
