Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
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I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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