I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
