i'm signing you up for texting rehab
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
