Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
